after having nearly a month of really bad mood swings, horribly pain everywhere, and fighting with everyone who i love and i think loves me, i am finally starting to feel like myself again. its like every september something crazy happens inside my head and i literally have a mental break. i think it might be the fact that one week you have complete freedom and the next week you are stuck in school for hours and hours and it takes some adjusting. my body does it fine, i wake up at the crack of dawn all summer anyway, its my head that won’t. mentally i go absolutely insane. it scares the living shit out of me, and i can’t control it. i try so hard to but i just can’t. this has ruined so many friendships and relationships i have with other people. there are very few people who have seen my have this kind of a break down and have stuck by my side. i am an extremely difficult person to live with, and i completely understand that, i am just so fucking happy to feel like myself again. i feel alive.
I still need to feel wanted by you. Just because you know you got me and you don’t think I’m going anywhere anytime soon, it doesn’t give you the right to start treating me differently. There shouldn’t be any lack of motivation in wanting to keep me as yours. You should put in twice the effort to make us move forward, make progress, also to make sure my feelings remain the same. In return, I’ll promise you this battle will be worth the win. Keep fighting for me.